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Discernment Counseling

the text below is an excerpt from this website

Are you thinking about divorce? Has your spouse suggested divorce?  Many couples who get divorced have regrets because they did not try to make it work, or feel they did not fully express their feelings.

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​Discernment Counseling provides:

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  • More clarity and confidence in a decision about the future of your marriage

  • More understanding of what has happened to your marriage and the part each of you has played in the problems

  • A game plan for change if you decide to work on the marriage

  • A set of learnings that you can carry with you into future relationships if you end this one, and a better chance to be good co-parents if you have children.

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In this brief counseling service (a maximum of five session, and often briefer), you will be supported, honored for where you are, and asked to look at what you would need to change in yourself to have a healthy relationship —whether in this marriage or in a future one. You can’t divorce yourself.

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We hope you consider this new service for couples like you, on the brink. You may end up with a realistic plan to restore your marriage to health. Or you may end up with a decision to divorce that you will be less likely to regret in years to come, and with learnings about yourself that you can carry with you into new relationships.

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For more information refer to this website or this article 

Distanced Couple
Family Dispute
Hugging on Top of Hill
Young Woman Contemplating

Principles about marriage:

  • Life-long commitment is especially difficult in today’s throwaway culture.

  • Children have an important stake in the health and endurance of their parents’ marriage.

  • Marital commitment brings obligations to work on a troubled marriage before giving up.

 

Principles about Healing in Therapy:

  • Because most troubled marriages can be restored to health if both partners dedicate themselves vigorously to make that happen, the first stance of therapists should be to help couples see if the path of healing is possible for them.

  • Because marriages have other stakeholders, especially children, it is important for therapists to help couples to see how others are affected by the decisions they make about the future of their marriage.

  • Because love and fairness must go hand in hand, healing a marriage must not come at the expense of one of the spouses.

 

Principles on Divorce:

  • Some divorces are necessary in order to prevent further harm in a destructive relationship.

  • Some divorces are unavoidable because one party chooses the divorce path against the wishes of their spouse.

  • However, many of today’s divorces could be prevented if both parties took steps to work on their marriage before it was too late.

  • When clients choose divorce, therapists have a responsibility to make them aware of additional resources, including divorce professionals who can facilitate a fair and healing divorce process.

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